about me.

I am very indecisive. i cant spell. I screw up all the time. I do stupid thngs. I make horrible decisions. I think too much. Im too apathetic. I stuggle in school. And left to myself im nothing more than dirt.. But im also covered by the blood of Christ. You might think im awesome, but you wouldnt think that if you were stuck in my head for a day. You might dislike me ,but its probly for the wrong reasons. I love God, my family and my church, specificaly the youthgroup....And i love all of the above listed more than i ever show them. I love sports. I love working out. One day i think i might want to be a youth minister and/or fitness trainer. sooooo yeah...thats about it off the top of my head. =]

Monday, February 22, 2010

trying to climb a mountain during an avalanche

life stinks at the moment....i feel like i am trying to climb mount everest in the middle of an avalanche. I cant seem to get anywere no matter how hard i try. A cant find joy in anyhing...i feel like im being sucked dry...my time in the Word had been pathetic...i dont know how im going to manage to graduate and not only is not graguating bad enough but if dont then i dont get to go to youngguns, nor do i get to go on my senior trip to the mayan ruins aka paradise, then i have to back to that hell hold called whitehouse for another year, were i have hardly any friends...then i have to look everyone at my church in the face knowing that they know that im pretty much a failure...i get to watch everyone at my church that graduates get announced to the church and whatnot. Im 18 and i dont even have my freaking drivers liscence yet....and im to buisy to go get it...im tired of being weak in every way. And then on top of that i just realized how selfish this all sounds. I need to get over myself and focus on God....You cant Glorify God when you are fosused on yourself...
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1 comment:

  1. Hannah MiddletonFebruary 26, 2010 at 6:38 AM

    Chaz...you aren't worthless much as you may feel right now! You are one of the leaders of the youth group! use that gift God has given you! reach out to the younger ones trying to learn! Set a good example for them by trying even when its hard! I know life must suck right now but remember that God has put you in this position for a reason and we dont always understand his ways but he's behind every set of events even if we don't recognize his fingerprints. "you can't glorify God when you are focussed on yourself" so redirect your focus on God and let him lead you through the walk of life. Its so much sweeter that way!! hey look at my newest post...its for you! Its the song "words i would say" by the sidewalk prophets.

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